I thought that because Jason Bourne travels all over the world in a matter of seconds (standard movie time), it would be a good idea to make sure we all know what to do if we come n contact with him. Well ill sidetrack for a second to say that i went to see the movie today and i agree with daniel and robbie, it is the best movie ive seen all summer. anyways back to the point of this post. Here we go. I know that most people in the movie think he is bad so they try and kill him themselves... WRONG!!!!!!!!! do not ever try and take on bourne by yourself or even with a single partner you need to use atleast the quadruple buddy system and maybe a special operative would be helpful too. Point 2: If jason is giving you instructions DO NOT i repeat DO NOT stray from them. even the slightest movement against his instructions can make you end up like mr Simon Ross... lead in da head. Point 3: always watch out for billboards... they may look harmless but dont get confused. .00000009 % of the time there will be a sniper in them. Point 4: Always remember DO NOT get into a car chase with mr Bourne. i think that instead of putting air bag warnings on your sunshields they should put Bourne warnings there. Warning do not pursue jason bourne in this car: serious injury or death may occur. Lastly, Point 6: If jason wants to speak with you ALONE i think he means ALONE bringing buddies along is just endangering yourself and your buddies more than it would endanger you to just listen to him and come alone. well i hope this information is useful to you all.
PART 2:
Battle of the series. well there are so many good series now. youve got Bourne, Pirates, Spiderman, Star wars and Lord of the Rings. well all of these are to good to choose from so i will reank them in catagories. 1: for the prize of best series placed in medieval times: Lord Of the rings. 2: For the prize of best superhero series: Spiderman. 3: for the prize of best series of best assassin- hitman series: Bourne. 4: for the prize of best futuristic series: star wars. 5: amd for the prize of best pirate series: Priates. there are the ratings from bryanmovieratings.com
PART 3:
Battle of the best characters in these series. alright this is the last installment of this post. this one i will be arguing who is the best character out of all these series. argue if u want but you cant fight with bryans official character ratings. ok well start with star wars the best character is anakin but he became evil and killed little kids so that forfeits him. Then comes Spiderman. He is a great character dont get me wrong but unforunately he is a superhero so he cant win the award. next is aragorn from Lord of the rings. Now we all know that he is the most amazing swordsman the middle of the world and probably the real world too. but, he just doesnt have the sophisticated technology to beat Captain jack and jason bourne. Next up is good ole' Captain Jack sparrow. his comical character and top of the line weaponry skills make him one of our top nominees. however, all out hilariousness brings his downfall (snot of the kraken). Now on to our last nominee, Jason bourne or David Webb or John Michael Kane or whatever u wanna call him. Jason bournes amazing skill and technique with his hands is enough to stop most special operations teams even when they are armed. i highly doubt it would take out a huge sea monster though. however, if his hands are not enough then he does still have the option of using heavy weaponry so who knows if he could or not.
HERE ARE THE FINAL RATINGS FOR THE CHARACTERS IN THESE SERIES:
In last place with 174 points is...... Anakin Skywalker with a quote of-PICK ON SOM1 ure own size!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In 4th place with 234 points is....... Spiderman with a quote of- Dont get down we know you could take any of them out its just cuz ure a superhero
In 3rd place with 789 points is......... Aragorn with a quote of- if you had a machine gun, you could rule the world.
In 2nd place with 997 points is........ Captain Jack Bourne!!! jk Jack Sparow with a quote of- learn your karate and youll reach the top.
In 1st place with 1000 points is....... Jason Bourne with a quote of- take on an 80 foot monster and you get all the fame buddy.
well i hope you all enjoyed my post and to dana: notice how close jack was to Jason. And now back to all of you: get some rest... you look tired
ps the quotes are not stuff that the characters said its stuff that i made up to show what they needed to improve on
20 comments:
You are such a sellout Balderman! Trying to appease me, by saying that Jack Sparrow came in 2nd by a slim margin is NOT going to work. Because it is NOT true. Reverse numbers 1 and 2, then I'll consider your words true and accurate. Until then, you are nothing more than a sheep following all your other sheep friends, right off the edge of the cliff....because you, my friend, are a FOLLOWER.....too scared to admit the truth, and go against the flow....it's just easier to agree with your friends, even though you know they are WRONG.
You are OUT of my will Bryan Alderman. But never fear, out there in the cold...because you're not alone. Your little sheep friend Daniel is shivering out in the cold with you. He too is OUT of my will.
"Who is the best blogger?"
Daniel
Bryan
Robbie
Audrey
Sound familiar Daniel??? You loser, I'm the one who told you WHAT a BLOG was....and you don't even list my blog as a choice? You know my blog is the blog to end ALL blogs, it's the "blogger-blower-out-of-water-2000".
Well be prepared Nephews, because on my deathbed, when I am old and gray, I plan to leave you each nothing more than the smelliest pair of socks I workout in. One for Daniel, and One for Bryan.....so that you can remember me, and when you get together, you'll evermore be known as: "The Smelly pair O' Nephews".
Love Always,
Aunt Dana
ADENDUM TO COMMENT "ONE"
Chris pointed out that I make NO money, therefore, I can have NO will. Being a stay at home mom, doesn't pay too well....
However, he gave me permission, to leave the following relatives out of HIS will:
Bryan
Daniel
Siblings....don't worry....you're still on my "good side", for now.... (Robbie, Ben, and Dylan)
omg dana u make me cry. all i wanted to do was make a funny post and that one little sentence ruined it for u? please just commenton HOW the post was not how much better u like jack sparrow. i can understand though cuz for girls liking the comical character more than the one that always blows stuff up. its just a guy thing methinks. Ask chris who he likes more! ill bet hell say Jason and just 4 the record im not slamming jack sparrow i just think he would lose in a battle to jason. im sorry you feel this way.. maybe daniel and i should set our blogs on private and not invite you so that you dont have to see our " sick bloggishness"
Now Bryan, there's no need to be hasty. Why would you set your blog on "private"? Can't you take a little fun, spirited critisism? I'm just trying to beat you down to make you stronger. It's for your own good.
By the way, on a completely different subject: your mom mentioned you and Robbie want to borrow "beauty and the beast" and "Pocahontas". Aubrey said that was fine, she would let you borrow them, just as long as you promise to return the "sparkling pink nail polish" you borrowed from her last month. =)
lol dana that whole comment was a complete and total joke but anyways yeah umm my mom asked for those to tell u the truth i would definitely go watch a different movie in my bedroom like the BOURNE identity or the BOURNE supremecy
Dana notice the post at the bottom of the blog A PIRATES LIFE 4 ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dana,
I am...apalled at the fact that you called me and i quote a little sheep friend shivering out in the cold. MY HEATING WORKS IN MY HOUSE. anywaysssssss, i could have added more choices and put you on the list, but you are ineligible seeing as you didn't post in multiple weeks which is clearly in violation of the blogging code of conduct.
and for the record Jason/David/John Michael or whatever could KICK Jack Sparrow's BUTT with his hands tied behing his back. And Bryan, wasnt that one part funny when... well here it is:
Police Chief: did you get Jason Bourne
Officer: Uh, no sir, he drove off the roof.
i love that scene. best movie of the summer end of story.
Bryan,
that website you posted as your "movie reviewing" site has "some" pretty vulgar stuff on it. u mite wanna check it out, or change the address. and the poll Jason or Jack = no brainer
bryan, do u like evanescence? well i am not really a fan, but this guy can play the piano. check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/user/crazygolfdriver
he is sooooo good.
And i didn't really check out the site, i just wanted to see your reaction. sorry i know that was mean. well im off to post about youtube
Dana since daniel and i cannot equally agree who is aubreys favorite cousin or all three of them for that matter (even though he knows its me, anywasys please tell aubrey aaron and shannon to comment on who their favorite cousin is
Well, well, I noticed in your little poll of Jack Sparrow verses Jason Bourne....Jack Sparrow is leading 3 to 2. Hmmm....Interesting.
As far as who is the "favorite cousin". Aubrey always picks Bryan. Sorry to the rest of you....but it's her answer. Bryan could drop her in a pit of alligators, steal and eat her last chocolate chip cookie, and burn all her toys....and she would still say: "Bryan is my favorite".
Aaron is still sleeping, but i'll ask him when he wakes up. I don't know who he'll pick, but I know it won't be Robbie.....ever since that "sleeping bag monster" incident, Aaron sleeps with one eye open.
And for Shannon, she doesn't know what a cousin is....much less, which is her favorite. But, just watching her interact with each cousin this summer, I'm going to guess that the front runner is Dylan, because he expended all his energy during our visit entertaining her and letting her play on her favorite toy - the stairs - while he protected her from falling.
Being as preschoolers answers can be a bit unreliable......don't put too much stock in what they say today, it could easily change, next month. For example. I asked Aubrey the other day, who she was going to marry when she grows up, and she answered: Aaron. I think she's going to want to change that answer later in life. =)
Oh, speaking of changed answers.....Aubrey just came in the room, and I asked her who her favorite cousin was again....she said, and I quote: "Probably Dylan. Well, I like Daniel and Bryan too. Probably I just like all of them, but I pick both of Uncle Danny's kids and Bryan".
So there you have it.
EAT THE FOOD DANIEL!!!!!!!!!! thats right u cant get it any more straight than from the mouth of the subject.
ps i think that robbie is shannons favorte cousin bcuz he always makes her laugh
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh heeeeeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!
Does no one remember who gave aubrey piggy back rides for HOURS in the blistering heat of the broad river??? and who played dead while the preschoolers dragged me around the house giving me carpet burn on my BAck? HUH no answer there hoopsman! smoke that in your pipe!!!!
smoke that on ure face danyonovich u heard it straight up from the persons mouth and u r just 100% jealous that u dont live in florida. as for ure ridiculous comments on what u did for them... who is the 14 year old that watches bambi beacause he loves her so much even though it embarasses him. who babysits them somtimes or takes them pottie or meets all of their ridiculous demands all the time. ITS A ONE WORD ANSWER SWEET COUSIN O MINE...
BRYAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aubrey loves me tons more than u she just doesnt realize it yet. chew that up and spit it out u yellow bellied supernoob.
dana please step in here
ahh, but no my friend. who is the one who she asked to change her underwear?? ME. who is the one who plays with her on slides and stuff. ME
daniel almost eveything uve said that u have "so graciously do for her" u do everytime u see her which is wat ummm maybe 1nce every year. every thing u said there io do almost every week of my life!
everyone check out my new icon
so eat the food danyonovichimus prime
and maybe just maybe dana....actually no definitely jason would do a heck of a lot better than jack did
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